Are you worried that your marriage is headed for trouble? These 6 early signs of divorce can tell you if you are right.
1. You don’t respect each other
No matter what disagreements you may have in private, a spouse should always have your back in public. If you or your spouse constantly criticize or mock each other in public, it indicates that you don’t respect each other anymore. Without mutual respect, a relationship simply cannot thrive. To save a marriage, both spouses have to make a conscious effort to win back the lost respect as well as change their negative behaviors.
2. You avoid spending time together
Married couples need not do everything together. But you should want to spend time together as a couple and enjoy being with each other. If you are spending a lot of time alone or using your hobbies or friends as an excuse to avoid being with your partner, it can be another sign that you have already started distancing yourself from the relationship.
3. You don’t communicate properly
Poor communication is one of the biggest things that can kill a relationship. If the only time you talk to each other is when you have to figure out whose turn is it to drive the kids to soccer or to get milk, you need to work on your marriage communication. Experts say that in a healthy marriage, the number of positive interactions should outweigh the negative ones by at least 20:1. So if you are spending more time fighting with each other over trivial issues and have little or no patience to work things out, it can mean your relationship is headed for trouble. Also, how you discuss your issues with each other and resolve conflicts can determine how healthy your marriage really is.
4. Your spouse is not your first priority
Of course, every marriage has its moments when kids and careers and the pressures of running a household take priority over the relationship between the spouses. Date nights get put on the backburner and soccer matches come to the forefront. But if this becomes a habit rather than an exception, it can be disastrous for your relationship.
In a healthy marriage, your spouse should always be your first priority. At the risk of offending many mothers out there who might think otherwise, let us say that a loving and healthy relationship between you and your spouse is the best gift you can give your children.
5. Physical intimacy is absent
It is natural for all couples to experience varying levels of desire for their spouse throughout their marriage. As a marriage progresses and you grow older, the intense need to be physically intimate with your spouse that you experienced during your honeymoon will not be always there. But if physical intimacy (not just sex but also other signs of affection such as hugs, touches, and cuddling), is totally absent in your relationship and you are living more like roommates or platonic friends rather than a married couple, it is important to find out the reason behind it.
6. Your gut is telling you there is something wrong
Your first instincts are mostly right. So if your gut is telling you that there is something wrong in your marriage and you are not sure what to do, it may be a good idea to talk to someone who can help you figure out what is going on.